Archive for February, 2009

Global Financial Crisis – Part 2

February 28, 2009 · Filed under politics, voluntary simplicity

I am currently feeling like a financial genius.  For many years P & I resisted all advice that we should “leverage the equity in our house” into investments in shares and other property.  Instead, we were very retro, and continued to focus on paying off debt.  The one debt I can never repay is the life-changing advice I read some years ago in the book “Your Money or Your Life” by Joe Dominguez & Vicki Robin.   I highly recommend it.

Mainly, we were just lazy.  I remember my brother once commenting that I would never be rich, as I just wasn’t interested enough in money.  I thought this was a fairly acute observation, not just of me, but of patterns of wealth.  However, times have changed my friends.  I *am* interested in politics, and these days politics is, quite obviously, all about money.  (I guess it always was, but now I can’t avoid it).  Economics is my new pet subject.  Just ask me about the economy’s automatic stabilisers, or, my current favourite,  moral hazard.  This seems to be the burning question of the times.  Should people/companies who made poor decisions suffer the consequences of those decisions……  because if they don’t, then they are living every capitalists dream:  privatised profits and socialised losses.   But if we do let people who made poor decisions go down the gurgler, then they’ll take  innocent bystanders with them.  Neither of these propositions are vote winners, and this is why I *love* the sport of politics.  Wrestle with that one you arseholes!

While I’m on the subject of those arseholes, let me say that they have sold us all down the river with their naive idea that we could all be “investors”, rather than Centrelink “customers”.  First Paul Keating with compulsory superannuation…. did he not consider that some people might want to retire during a downturn?  And then John Howard with his idea that we could all be shareholders  (so everyone proceeded to lose money on Telstra… et al.)  They were complicit in sending a message that investments always went up….. and if they didn’t you could ride through the downturn…..   a la Warren Buffet.

But, I digress.  On our road to living debt free P & I came to the inevitable conclusion that the easiest way to get rid of debt was to sell the house we had, and buy one we could actually afford.   We jagged it and sold at the top of the market.  (The sale went a bit pear shaped but that’s another story.)  So now, based on feverish readings of all things financial, and Kevin Rudd’s ever more desperate-looking attempts to prop up Australian housing prices (global, Kevin, GLOBAL),  we are grappling whether to take a punt and try to sell our house now, before we go, and then buy again when we get back.  (It may already be too late.)  This is based on four premises:

1)  It is looking ever more likely that house prices are about to fall off the cliff;

2) Even if they don’t, they’re not going up in the next year or so;

3)  Money in the bank is guaranteed by Kevin Rudd, unlike money tied up in housing;

4) If we get it completely wrong, we’ll still have the camper trailer and P is starting to really resent the on-going work of home ownership anyway.

So there you go folks.  That’s financial planning, 2009 style.  Selling the house to try and save your bacon.

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Becoming Expert

February 27, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized

I read in the paper that the most recent research shows that in order to become “an expert” at something, you need to practise for around 10 000 hours.  There is no evidence that “talent” has anything to do with it – you just need to do the practise.   (The exception was physicality  – eg, if you’re really tall then you’ll have an advantage in basketball.  I hope they didn’t waste too many research dollars double checking this bit.)

Anyway, this could explain the fairly ordinary piano playing I’m doing.  I estimate that during childhood I did 416 hours practise (2 hours a week – including the lesson - for 4 years).   So I have 9 584 hours to go.  If I give myself 10 years to do it in, that’s just under 3 hours practise a day.   I would love to put that to the test.  I love my piano and it would be no hardship to sit there on and off during the day to notch up the three hours.  Unfortunately I have competing priorities, so it may take more than 10 years. 

I love the idea that practise trumps talent.  It’s a message of hope.  The world truly is your oyster.  The only excuse available is that you didn’t spend the time.   It also allows you to catch up.  So your neglectful parents didn’t hothouse you into a maths genius?   No problem, you just need to put the hours in now!   You can be as good as you want to be – just choose.

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On Blogging 5

February 26, 2009 · Filed under blogging

“Do you ever self-edit?”  was the question.  And my response is, so far no, but sometimes I have to fight the impulse. Sometimes I wish I had never been so egotistical to even mention that I kept a blog to anyone, and consider starting another, covert one.  But I don’t fancy the double life.   The main thing that keeps me honest is my eclectic group of friends.  That is, they seem to have such divergent views that whatever I write I can generally think of least one person who would be rolling their eyes and/or potentially offended.  I guess the exception is my innocent attempts at vegetable gardening.  Those posts are fairly inoffensive, and like I told someone the other day, seemingly the most boring thing I write about – as hardly anyone bothers to read them!

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The Path of Service

February 24, 2009 · Filed under being present, parenting, relationships, society, spirituality

This has come up a few times for me recently.  A wise friend posed the question:  “Why is it that having a child can be the absolute focus of someone’s life, but then when they are asked to care for the child and play on the mat with them for hours at a time, they scurry to find excuses not to?”  She answered:  “To do it,  forces you to face your demons.”

I then came across this vignette from Ghandi’s life.  He went to live in a village to serve the people as best he could.  When queried as to whether his motives were purely humanitarian he responded “I am here to serve no one else but myself, to find my own self-realisation through the service of these village folk.” 

The path of service is an ancient and honourable one, but little valued in the west.  We are affluent enough to avoid our demons, so to speak, and are baffled by others on this path.   A foster mother was in the news recently.   In her care she had three children, all of whom suffered from a condition preventing them from mental development beyond the age of eight weeks.  The children were well looked after.  Based on one psychologist’s report she was diagnosed as having “carer’s syndrome”.  That is, she was gaining identity and self-fulfilment through her role as the carer of these children.  This is obviously dangerous, as the children were summarily removed from her care, and last heard she was fighting to get them back through the courts.  

Well, on that basis, Ghandi, Mother Theresa, other humanitarians or indeed any stay-at-home parent suffer from “carer’s syndrome” and should be immediately stopped from their activities.  To care for someone you live with is indeed a path full of demons.   I know, as I tried and failed with my dad.  The frustrations and resentments rise up to stare you in the face, and you continually wrestle with your personal limitations and frailties.  Many carers end up with depression, and many mothers end up with post-natal depression, and I wonder if this is not further evidence of the lack of understanding and support for this path.

The same issues arise in full time parenting, though in my own case I find surrendering to the needs of my children far easier than surrendering to the needs of my father.  I’m not sure why this is.  Perhaps because with children you generally get a sense of progress, and that particular tasks become no longer required (eg toileting.)  That’s not to say that I am anywhere near enlightenment yet.   I still have days of generally stomping around being resentful of “all I have to do”, and then catching myself as having created the bad feelings all on my own… that day is really no different from the joyful day prior, or the unknown one to come, it’s just my “put-upon” attitude that is ruining it.   Being with my children pretty much all the time is my choice, my pleasure, my cross.  I do it for them because I think it is the right thing,  but ultimately I do it for myself.  I’m the one who is searching for self-realisation through my service to them.   I’m the one who gains identity and self-fulfillment through this process.  I don’t end up “living through my kids”.  I end up living my own best life.

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My life as an anarchist

February 24, 2009 · Filed under homeschooling, politics, society, unschooling

Trash the system baby.  I didn’t realise I was an anarchist until recently.  For someone who follows politics like a blood sport, I am remarkably naive.  I finally understand that when I announce I am a homeschooler, people respond as though I have announced I am an anarchist.  And actually, they’re right.  I reject it all.  I reject the false premise that everyone has to know the same things. I reject the whole idea that people should be “graded”.  I reject using childhood as a training ground for adult economic participation.   I reject educational and work achievements as sources of meaning or identity.

Birth, parenting, education.  I didn’t realise that these were political acts.  I thought they were personal decisions, but they have the capacity to deeply challenge people’s assumptions, and that pisses people off.   They don’t want to know that you can birth at home, that babies don’t need nappies, that you don’t have to go to school. 

Education is so politicised, it’s frightening.  Far from being a stable anchor of society, it is at the frontline of the culture wars, where people battle for the supremacy of their ideas in order to shape our kids into their storm troopers of the future.    When government are constantly forming committees to develop the “perfect curriculum”, can’t people see that this is the ultimate propaganda vehicle?  When even *how* children should learn to read (phonics versus whole language) can become a battleground between conservative and progressive forces, you know it’s about competing world views.   What about being guided by the individual needs and preferences of the child?  That would be the absolutely last approach that any instrument of the state would take.   Despite individual efforts from some teachers (hats off to them) they have no chance.   Basically, any teacher that doesn’t ultimately succumb to a belief in authoritarianism is doomed to a life of cognitive dissonance, not to say multiple personality disorder.

You can read about school failures any day of the week, but everyone wants to tweak around the edges of the system – or better yet - syphon those individuals who are “failing” into a group together where they can’t interrupt the induction of the compliant (quiet) majority.  And then blame those individuals for their own dumbness.  That’s good, because maybe if they get that message clearly enough they’ll eventually shut up, find some ghetto, and obediently fail in the adult economic competition as well.  

I love the black humour involved when schooling doesn’t work.  Invariably, the answer is…… more school!  A different curriculum, longer hours, after hours courses, more homework etc etc.  Or another favourite – school as the answer to social problems.  Want to solve the “aboriginal problem”?  Get those kids to attend school everyday.  Haven’t they been socialised to quietly accept hours of meaningless activities?  I’d fine the parents – they’re doing a bad job. (That’s sarcastic, in case you don’t know me.)   It’s the ultimate test that no school would ever set for itself.  Make its program voluntary, and see how many students turn up.   A real education revolution.

I can’t yell it loudly enough:  SCHOOL IS NOT THE ANSWER!!!!   And that applies to pretty much any question you might be asking, other than the one in which you are plotting to take over the world.  My retreat into anarchy seems to be the logical resting place for my schizophrenic political beliefs.  A social progressive who doesn’t really believe in government services any more.

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Camping

February 23, 2009 · Filed under The Big Lap, cooking, voluntary simplicity

“Have you ever even *been* camping?”  was the question. 

My initial response was no.  But I later recalled that yes, I have had some camping experiences…. all of which would probably *not* inspire me to go camping again.   

I lived in a panel van for a bit.   When we could afford caravan park fees our “camp” consisted of a pile of junk covered by a tarp.  When we couldn’t, we were harassed as vagrants by the Queensland police.

On a belated honeymoon P & I drove to Broome in a ute with one of those canopies over the back.  That was an exercise in frustration.  Our ingenuity had led us to build a “platform” in the back.  On top of the platform was our deflating air mattress, and underneath the platform was all our stuff – none of which was even remotely accessible.  I remember the raised eyebrows we received when we pulled into the less than salubrious “overflow” campsite in Broome.  I didn’t get it then, but I sure do now.

P & I went down to Albany on the motorbike, and only realised on arrival in Albany that we had brought the tent, but not the sleeping bags or mats – and we had been congratuating ourselves on fitting everything onto the bike!  So we slept on the ground in our leathers.  Hmmm.  That was cold.

Then, crazily, we signed up for a 6 week truck down the east coast of Africa – camping all the way.   I was really sick of that tent by the end.  Plus 10 years later, I have a visceral memory of my unwashed state.

So there you go, I’m a camper from way back.

My request for camping stuff on freecycle went unanswered, so I decided to go to a “camping shop” – one of those emporium style places.  I had the kids with me so had to request a trolley, and proceeded to put things in it, and then return them all to the shelves as either overpriced, or possibly not needed at all.   Two camping issues have presented themselves. 

1.  I won’t have an oven for cooking – impacting on my repetoire of recipes.  This could potentially be solved by a camp oven, but will we really be anywhere where we can light a camp fire?  That was my fantasy, but recent events have opened my eyes to the fact that camping in summer in Australia does not lend itself to campfire cooking.  I could buy a $250+ portable gas oven, but this seems wildly extravagant, not to say taking up valuable space, so I am resolved to find kid-friendly vegetarian recipes for the grill in the camper trailer.  So far I have one. 

2.  Personal hygiene.  I had another fantasy about using a solar shower to have luxurious open air showers warmed by the sun.  That was before I saw the nozzle on the solar shower.   “That isn’t going to wash out shampoo”  I informed P, who informed me that we won’t be carrying sufficient water to wash/rinse hair.  Oh.  I have been thinking about getting dreads (you know, mid life crisis, last blast before I go completely grey) but I think they need to be washed too.  P already has a shaved head, so it’s all right for him.  He’s offered to share the clippers.

So it is kind of funny that I have signed up for 12 months of camping.   Is this the way I create drama in my life?

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Other People’s Stuff

February 23, 2009 · Filed under relationships, voluntary simplicity

Currently I am sorting my dad’s stuff.  When we first moved into our house with a granny flat (12 years ago) dad brought *everything* with him from the 4×2 family home - including a collection of house bricks that were kicking around.   Over the years when the moment struck (and dad was out) I would clear stuff out.   Then we moved here – another opportunity to sort through dad’s stuff.  Then he moved into aged care.  More sorting.  Then the aged care home was being demolished, so he moved again.  More sorting.  Now I’m sorting the stuff that dad left here when he went into aged care.  I can’t tell you how much I am NOT ENJOYING this sorting. 

It’s bad enough having responsibility for your own stuff, but other people’s is worse.  Particularly when you realise that some of this stuff they cherished, you don’t want.   You feel so mean.  You also have to consider – do other members of the family want this stuff?  You can’t help but notice that they are *not* interested in sorting it, but you feel a residual obligation to at least ask them whether they would like it.  And then, when you are on the verge of joyfully purging it, you await their pleasure to “come and have a look”, before you can shovel it off to the tip.  Then they don’t want it, but feel that in all fairness it should be offered to Aunty Betty or some obscure second cousin that’s interested in the family tree.  AARRGGHHH.

My mum, God bless her, has offered to have the stamp collection valued.  Ha!  Note to all collecters:  anything that you bought because it was “a collectable” is virtually, by definition, worthless.  A bunch of other suckers bought it too.  Recognise that the pleasure has to be in the collecting itself - not some future pay off.  I’m feeling pretty harsh now, but really, it would be great if everyone could either sort their own stuff or better yet, not acquire much.  Alternatively, buy useful stuff of such timeless beauty and quality that your family *might* be the happy curator of the piece until they pass it along down the line.  I am the happy recipient of a couple of pieces of antique furniture, and also lovingly wear my Grandma’s engagement and wedding rings, refashioned as my own.

As I am writing this I am thinking – am I disparaging an important rite of passage – the sorting of the elderly/dead parents belongings?  Hmmmm.  If it is a rite of passage it must be a pretty new one – only a few generations ago people didn’t really have much. 

Watching my dad age has been a good lesson in the limited lifespan of stuff.  We seem to progress along a standard deviation curve of ownership.  We start with nothing,  we get a few clothes, we peak seemingly during parenthood, and then eventually we are back down to just some clothes and a few bits and bobs to make others feel that our room is “personalised”, and then nothing again.  You really can’t take it with you.

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21st Century Bookburner – Part 2

February 15, 2009 · Filed under parenting, relationships

Dear Reader, I write to report failure. 

You might recall that some time ago I removed the DVD player.  Didn’t burn it though.  That was my mistake.  I put it into “the workshop”.  Formerly the granny flat, P has appropriated this space for all things manly.  It’s a jumbled mess of motorbike, tools, gym equipment and junk.  For a few weeks the DVD sat dusty amongst the junk, and then P hooked it up to an old TV he has in there.   Well, it was “discovered” and subsequently used on a very occasional basis.  I could still kind of live with it.  It wasn’t there in the lounge room like a siren, and T had to be particularly keen to watch something, as you needed to drag a chair in there amongst the smell of oil and watch on a weird angle.

Then one Sunday, P couldn’t go on his regular motorbike ride.  The bike wouldn’t start.  After literally taking the bike apart and putting it back together, he discovered that *someone* had pulled off a hose of some kind.  He then relocated the DVD back to the loungeroom.  Sigh.

Sometimes I refer to P as my resident saboteur.  Generally we agree on stuff.  Shared values are the glue of any relationship, and normally we have a lot of glue.  There are some things that we don’t agree on though, which lead me into circular discussions with myself:  Why am I with him?  Why can’t he just get with the program?  Why can’t he just be a clone of me?  Um, that would be really boring, not to say unattractive.  Sigh, OK, let’s stick together.

So, on the subject of TV/DVD we don’t really agree.  P thinks this stuff is entertainment!  I know it as the root of  all evil,  leading our children into lives of brain decay, obesity and social malaise!  I must love P, as it seems this is not a deal breaker.

So the DVD is back and it continues to raise its ugly head in new debates.   T has become obsessed by ratings.  Friends are allowed to watch Spiderman, he isn’t.  “It’s rated M:  you are not allowed to watch it until you are 15″  I explained.   (Scornful look from P; though he later accepts my theory that if we say 15, that probably means 12, but if we say 12, that will become 8.)  So now T wishes his life away waiting to become 15, and informs me (erroneously) that he is someone who “likes to have a fright.”

In the meantime he has discovered “PG”.  When a DVD has “PG” on it, he requests that P or I attend the viewing to “parent guide” it.   (Will I completely wreck my image with you if I confess I usually last 5 minutes?)  So, all this is leading to another point of parental disagreement.  Somehow T has discovered “Star Wars”.  He unearthed a book about it and spends quite a bit of time discussing the various characters.  My favourite part was when T asked whether the big black one was Dark Mavis.  P informed him it was Darth Vadar.  Why?  I loved Dark Mavis! 

Inevitably, T then asked what rating the movie was.  “M” I informed him.  But then P looked it up and apparantly it’s “PG”!  Well, that doesn’t convince *me*.    So on my round of errands I am sent off to borrow “Star Wars” at the video shop.  I ask for a back up option “in case it isn’t there”.  Nothing is suggested but I can see that at least P knows I’m not borrowing Star Wars.  Once I am there I lurk in the “family” section searching for inspiration.  Finally…….  ET!  I haven’t seen it for years but I think it will meet T’s need for something a bit “older”, it’s about aliens, and I don’t recall anything horrible in it.

Thrilled with this compromise I take it home, and then blow it completely.  T greets me out at the driveway “Did you get Star Wars!”  “No, I got ET” I explain a little about it, and then point to the yellow rating – “See, it’s PG, and it says:  some scenes may disturb small children”  P looks at me like the twit I am, and T’s face crumples into tears of distress “I’m not watching it!”  And nothing can budge him from that.  Later P takes T to the video shop and they choose Kung Fu Panda.   I wouldn’t have chosen it, but I am starting to admit defeat.

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Garden Update: February 2009

February 13, 2009 · Filed under gardening

Based on encouragement from a friend, I did do some more planting last month.  More tomatoes and greens in a border where they get some shade from the eaves.  And a “bean den” inspired by a children’s books from the library.  This is a teepee structure, with bean seeds planted beside each stake.  The idea is that the bean plants will grow and create a living tent.  Unfortunately not all the beans have germinated (some were planted under other plants due to space restrictions) so the coverage may be a bit patchy.

All the corn has been eaten, and I actually have a (small) crop of eggplant and capsicums!  One bed that is otherwise finished got a reprieve when I noticed that the self-seeded rockmelon had actually produced three melons.  So I will wait to harvest them.  I have put the growing melons onto pavers in the garden, as in the past I have lost pumpkins as the side of the fruit on the ground has slightly rotted.  I’m not sure whether this is the right thing to do, or if there is something else that would be better. 

P built the chook tractor and the chooks have made the adjustment to their new quarters.  I no longer have them free ranging in the garden, which is a bit sad as they looked so nice in and out of the garden, but the upside is it’s less work and I’m not losing veges to the chooks before I’m ready to.

My main learning this month is that I *really* need to get on with the planning of the planting – including staggered planting.  We’re in feast or famine mode at the moment.

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In Praise of Marriage

February 12, 2009 · Filed under politics, relationships, society

I’m married.  I believe in marriage.  I think it’s my favourite social institution.  This is not to disparage the relationships of  those who choose not to get married.  Marriage is a voluntary institution, so presumably only people who ascribe to the values of marriage get married.  I guess the details of those values will be different to different people, but I’m guessing that one value married people have in common is their intention to stay together “til death do us part”.   I’m not even sure if I really understood my commitment to that commitment (if you get what I mean) until after I was married. 

I’m pretty sure P & I are still together because we are married.  I definitely remember at one point of “marital discord” thinking to myself that I was only trying to make it work because we were married, and I needed to be able to say to myself that I had tried absolutely *everything* before I could proceed to divorce.   What do you know?  We worked it out, and we’re still together.  

So my thesis is that the institution of marriage helps keep couples together, and (with the exception of abusive relationships) this is a good thing for society.   It’s good for the individuals involved (reduced rates of depression, loneliness, poverty)  it’s good for any kids, and it’s good for the extended family and friends.  I propose the latter premise not based on any reading, but on my own theory that often the ability to care for elderly parents/family members and to participate in social events and obligations depends on the couple remaining intact.

So, I am actually writing this post in support of gay marriage.  I am baffled by the fact that this is still a controversial issue.    If a church has got a thing about marriage being only between a man and woman, well I guess it’s their prerogative only to offer wedding services to heterosexual couples.   But civil ceremonies (of which ours was one) should be available to homosexual couples.  I hereby confirm that the status of my marriage will not be devalued one iota by this change.  Then the advantages of marriage to both individuals and society at large would be spread further.

Arguments from social conservatives against this change are, in my experience, intellectually dishonest.  In fact, they rarely argue against gay marriage (as presumably they are stuck for any argument other than their own prejudice.)  Their arguments are all about the rights of gay people to be parents…. or the more emotional flipside, the rights of children ”to have a mum and a dad.”   Aha!  Now we wade into stickier territory.  Well, there’s two parts to this argument.  One is a no brainer.  Some people who are “gay” are also biological parents through heterosexual relationships.   Well, you can’t stop gay people having heterosexual sex, so there will always be some children who have a gay parent.   Presumably no-one is suggesting that DoCS should swoop in and put these children into foster homes.

The second part is whether gay people should have access to reproductive technology and/or adoption in order to become parents.   Well (more angst for social conservatives) marriage isn’t actually a criteria for access to these programs.  Single people and de-facto couples have the right to apply for these programs, and successfully do so.  The ethics of reproductive technology are many, and my purpose here is not to enter that debate, other than to state that the availability of these programs has nothing to do with marriage, gay or otherwise.

One of my highest hopes for my children is that they find an enduring love partnership, as I believe that this can be an enormous joy and a solace.  Whether they are straight or gay, I would like them to have the option of formalising and celebrating this through marriage.

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