First thought…… should transcendence be better spelt transcendance, to capture “dance”, as dance is one of the first paths that humans took to achieve transcendence?? Our culture has such limited opportunities for dance – we are bereft, with the major exception of nightclubs…. in what a mutated and limited form we have allowed dance to occur (no wonder Suave Man is in such short supply!) Oh for tribal stompings in which I was obliged to participate.
Thus to the main topic. I am currently reading “Yoga for people who can’t be bothered to do it” (Geoff Dyer). I couldn’t *not* borrow this book, as the brilliant title so captures the borderline space of my own yoga practise. I can always find motivation to go to a class, but when it comes to home practice, my main mastery has been in the area of excuses to myself as to why I can’t do it.
Re: the book, I can’t do better than the reviewer who said “At times I was reduced to helpless laughter, at others to impotent envy.” It is laugh out loud funny, so is worth recommending for that reason alone. But the main reason I recommend it, is in case your child ever gets into drugs. (I’m not sure if this is the message of the book…..temporary transcendence through drugs, but this is one reading.)
Reading this book could help you to construct an argument whereby you could view this as a reasonably acceptable outcome. You have succeeded, in that your child is a searcher; has an inkling that there is “more” to the experience of being human. You have failed, in that they have reached for the easy solution….. one that probably won’t work in the long run.
Amongst my homeschooling literature, I recently read that the most important lesson that your child needs to learn, probably before they are ten, is that you need to work hard in order to achieve your own, worthwhile goal. How’s that for counter-cultural?? In an age of instant gratification, that’s tough. I read this stuff and always feel inadequate. Am I providing the space, the benign encouragement and support, the role modelling, to generate this outcome? My only consolation is that school is inadequate in this regard as well. I didn’t learn this lesson. I don’t recall self-determined goals as a child – let alone ones that I pursued and achieved. Hemmed in by the goals of others – most of which I achieved too easily….. as they hadn’t been set for “me” – they’d been set for “the class”. By the time I got to upper highschool, let alone university, I wasn’t signing up for anything that might be too hard…. I was hooked on easy success. This is part of the damage wrought by the school system…. according to “the school”, I have no doubt, I was one of their “successful students”. The fact that I was intellectually risk-averse, to the point of limiting my personal interests and aspirations, doesn’t count.
Back to drugs. Another snippet. I recall a quote from Theodore Dalrymple (a conservative psychiatrist – two reasons to ask why I would be quoting him) saying that drug use was the preserve of those “who didn’t know how to live”. That probably captures most of us. I do my best parenting after a yoga session *or* two glasses of wine (true confessions from a breastfeeding mama.) My experimentation with drugs is limited. Even years of living with stoners didn’t really tempt me, except in a passive smoking-type way. (There is something erotic about someone blowing smoke into your mouth, followed by a kiss….. sigh)
So why do most of us “not know how to live”? Taunted by a vague, intuitive notion of a ‘higher plane’ that we can’t seem to grasp? So drugs are a short term fast track to try and get there (does this explain my general avoidance… knowing I’m likely to get addicted to the easy path?).
The harder path is a spiritual one. It’s a total investment of self. This is where the “just say no” approach to drug use is so bereft. You have to offer other options – pathways to transcendence that people can say “yes” too. This is the huge challenge. As someone who doesn’t belong to any formal spiritual community, I’m happy that my kids can self-determine their path to transcendence, and I pray that they learn the lesson that worthwhile goals require hard work. Because this is the hardest work of all.
digging around 
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