Archive for health

No Title Occurs To Me. (Capitalised)

23 July

A few days ago I was thinking about setting myself a personal challenge of posting an authentic status onto facebook. My first one was going to be along the lines of “Feeling lonely. Planning 7 days of authentic status updates on facebook – a personal challenge”. P was off it – he felt that my “feeling lonely” was somehow a reflection on him: like my status was really “I’m on holiday in Europe with *that* loser.” That got me off the hook – I was already feeling nervous about being publicly authentic, and I hadn’t even started. Neurotic? Us?

That’s the joy of the blog – especially now after years of neglect. I can be authentic and the audience is about 3 people, all of whom are likely to be OK about my weirdity.

Is that a word? Spellcheck doesn’t like it, and oh joy of joys there is no internet which I can check!

Oh, my inward bubble of joy when earlier this morning I walked past P battling to get a connection. I was so glad that I had officially given up! Of course, my plan does sort of rely on him eventually succeeding, and my lack of interest in the endeavour is negatively impacting on the amount of time he is willing to devote to it. He gave up after only 5 minutes and sat down with me on the terrace with his lemon drink!

We have given up tea in favour of lemon squeezed into warm water. This is my normal approach to the beginnings of a health initiative. Start the day with something healthy and then hope that I will be inspired for the day. Warm weather is inspiration enough. I love the heat – my body loves it.

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Lab Rat takes back her power

Currently on Hvar Island, Croatia. Beautiful. Two reasons for returning to the blog. Firstly, I knew I was “behind” in recording the trip, and it felt like a chore to “catch up”… so I was subsequently avoiding it… so I gave myself permission not to catch up, or even to “write things out of chronological order”. What a rebel. In fact, P has taken over the role of family chronicler, via facebook. Secondly, the internet connection on this island – or at least where we are staying – is unreliable. I’ve turned into the lab rat on the intermittent reinforcement regimen. I’m constantly “pressing the lever” in the hope that it “might work”. No more. I’m over it. I wonder if the rat ever decides just to starve, in order to regain power over his own destiny.

If I email someone, there is no instant response anyway, so it’s not as though it works as an instant social connector anyway. Comments on facebook I leave till another day. Instead, I am using the extremely reliable word processing package as a journaling/blogging tool, and if a connection ever reveals itself I can cut and paste them onto the blog. P just read over my shoulder. “So you’re going to write to yourself.” Exactly.

It’s actually a blessing in disguise that the connection is so bad, as I was starting to hate the fact that P & I were spending so much time on the computer. (Of course this is what I am doing now, but it feels more empowering – and writing to myself is, hopefully, not the endless piece of string, or black hole of the internet. Believe me, I will easily run out of things to write to myself.)

Getting up in the morning and checking emails…. and then facebook…. and then a few news-sites, doesn’t make me feel good. It feels like it sets the wrong tone for the day. This way I can establish a new habit.

Done. Computer closed.

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Easy trancendence: thoughts from a scatter gun

First thought…… should transcendence be better spelt transcendance, to capture “dance”, as dance is one of the first paths that humans took to achieve transcendence??   Our culture has such limited opportunities for dance – we are bereft, with the major exception of nightclubs…. in what a mutated and limited form we have allowed dance to occur (no wonder Suave Man is in such short supply!)  Oh for tribal stompings in which I was obliged to participate.
 
Thus to the main topic.  I am currently reading “Yoga for people who can’t be bothered to do it”  (Geoff Dyer).  I couldn’t *not* borrow this book, as the brilliant title so captures the borderline space of my own yoga practise.  I can always find motivation to go to a class, but when it comes to home practice, my main mastery has been in the area of excuses to myself as to why I can’t do it.  
Re: the book, I can’t do better than the reviewer who said “At times I was reduced to helpless laughter, at others to impotent envy.” It is laugh out loud funny, so is worth recommending for that reason alone. But the main reason I recommend it, is in case your child ever gets into drugs.  (I’m not sure if this is the message of the book…..temporary transcendence through drugs, but this is one reading.)
 
Reading this book could help you to construct an argument whereby you could view this as a reasonably acceptable outcome.  You have succeeded, in that your child is a searcher; has an inkling that there is “more” to the experience of being human.  You have failed, in that they have reached for the easy solution…..  one that probably won’t work in the long run.
 
Amongst my homeschooling literature, I recently read that the most important lesson that your child needs to learn, probably before they are ten, is that you need to work hard in order to achieve your own, worthwhile goal.  How’s that for counter-cultural??  In an age of instant gratification, that’s tough.  I read this stuff and always feel inadequate.  Am I providing the space, the benign encouragement and support, the role modelling, to generate this outcome?  My only consolation is that school is inadequate in this regard as well.  I didn’t learn this lesson.  I don’t recall self-determined goals as a child – let alone ones that I pursued and achieved.  Hemmed in by the goals of others – most of which I achieved too easily….. as they hadn’t been set for “me” – they’d been set for “the class”.  By the time I got to upper highschool, let alone university, I wasn’t signing up for anything that might be too hard…. I was hooked on easy success.  This is part of the damage wrought by the school system…. according to “the school”, I have no doubt, I was one of their “successful students”.  The fact that I was intellectually risk-averse, to the point of limiting my personal interests and aspirations, doesn’t count.
 
Back to drugs.  Another snippet.  I recall a quote from Theodore Dalrymple (a conservative psychiatrist – two reasons to ask why I would be quoting him) saying that drug use was the preserve of those “who didn’t know how to live”.  That probably captures most of us.  I do my best parenting after a yoga session *or* two glasses of wine (true confessions from a breastfeeding mama.)  My experimentation with drugs is limited.  Even years of living with stoners didn’t really tempt me, except in a passive smoking-type way.  (There is something erotic about someone blowing smoke into your mouth, followed by a kiss…..  sigh)
 
So why do most of us “not know how to live”?   Taunted by a vague, intuitive notion of a ‘higher plane’ that we can’t seem to grasp?  So drugs are a short term fast track to try and get there (does this explain my general avoidance…  knowing I’m likely to get addicted to the easy path?).
 
The harder path is a spiritual one.  It’s a total investment of self.  This is where the “just say no” approach to drug use is so bereft.  You have to offer other options – pathways to transcendence that people can say “yes” too.  This is the huge challenge.  As someone who doesn’t belong to any formal spiritual community, I’m happy that my kids can self-determine their path to transcendence, and I pray that they learn the lesson that worthwhile goals require hard work.  Because this is the hardest work of all.
 
 

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Kids Food (and other stuff)

My kids don’t eat enough veges.  Of more accurately – they hardly eat any.  This is my most on-going area of parental anxiety (well, equal to my fear that the joys and freedoms of homeschooling will at some point be outweighed by my kids lack of academic achievement).   Even knowing I am riddling them with food issues doesn’t stop me from constantly fretting about it in front of them.  T ate everything until he was 2.5, and then gradually retreated into a bland carbohydrate diet.  J is somewhat better, but his need to “have what T is having” doesn’t help.

My dad used to tell the story of how in his family he had to eat everything on his plate.  One night he sat there, not eating his (disgusting) veges.  When everyone else left the table , he got up and (secretly, he thought) threw his food out into the yard.  His mum scraped it back onto his plate, and he had to eat it, dirt and all.

I remember my childhood meals of meat and three veg.  I literally gagged at the prospect of eating boiled peas and I pushed them around the plate trying to make the pile look smaller.

Given that P and I (now) eat a lot of veges, and they are always available, I just hope that eventually the kids will gravitate to a healthful diet.  T “knows” what a healthful diet is, and will often say he would like veges for dinner (to watch my face glow with happiness) but when they are served, his face crumples in despair.  “If only they tasted nice mum!”   He happily eats avocadoes, carrots, the peas shelled from fresh snow peas, and will nibble on a leaf.  Sigh.

Recent reading on kids’ health threw up the finding that parents are poor judges of how healthy their kids are, as they confuse happiness and healthiness.  So even though we might *know* our kids’ diet is inadequate, or they have too little exercise or too much screen time, we *think* we are getting away with it:  “Look, they’re healthy!” when in actual fact they’re ‘just’ happy.

Another snippet from the same book.  In the UK, school canteens are shifting to ‘healthy’ menus (thank you Jamie).  At one school, an entrepreneurial 13yo opened a rival canteen, selling the stuff that the school canteen used to sell.  He was doing very well, and his customers included the teaching staff, when the school closed him down as he was ‘undermining their healthy eating message’.   He was pissed off – he wasn’t doing anything illegal.

I like this story as I can’t decide what I think.  Obviously I am committed to the “healthy eating message”, but I *really* feel for this kid!  The injustice!  I take it they didn’t close down the local Maccas as it was ‘undermining the healthy eating message’.  The most amazing learning experience he probably ever had on those premises, and just shut down.  What’s he learnt now? – the little guy can’t win.

Sorry to bore those of you who have heard my experience of being arbitrarily “shut down” by school authorities because my activities didn’t suit them, but I can *still* seethe with the injustice of it!  In primary school, when I was in Year 6, the school decided that girls were not allowed on the school oval to play during lunch and recess (yes, the 1980’s – not quite the dark ages).  A friend and I started “Girls Lib”, a movement to allow girls back on to the oval.  Our initiatives included large posters advertising all the games girls used to enjoy on the oval, and a petition.  When you signed the petition, you receive an handmade badge – “Girls Lib!”  Unfortunately, the boys took this as some sort of gender war, and started ripping them off girls’ shirts – meaning my friend and I were in full scale production of the badges, to replace those lost to the neanderthal boys.

The librarian asked us to move the petition out of the library, so we relocated to near the canteen.  Then after a week or so, my classroom teacher advised that the principal had advised him that we had to stop Girls Lib, because it was too disruptive.  No boy was advised that they should stop grabbing at girls tops and ripping off their badge.  We still weren’t allowed on the oval.  CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT????????  Not a single teacher –  or parent – including my own – was prepared to step up and support our cause.  Just shut down for causing a disturbance.   That was the high & low point of my career as an activist.  A  just cause, and no one in authority cared about anything, except the quiet life.   Maybe it was at this point that I decided that school was a series of lessons in compliance and control.  He’s probably dead now, but the principal’s name was Mr Colvin, and unfortunately I have never bumped into him as an adult to give him the serve that ALL THE OTHER ADULTS SHOULD HAVE AT THE TIME.  GGGRRRRRRR.

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Dispatches from Timber Creek

Palm Springs, Duncan Rd

Palm Springs, Duncan Rd

Returned to Kununurra via the Duncan Road that runs along the other side of the Bungles.  Caught up again with friends who live there (Yay friends!  It’s so good to see familiar faces.)

Lunch at Timber Creek, and we finally met up with the ‘camel man’ we had been hearing about on and off since Karijini.  He is travelling around Australia with two camels, towing a buggy made from an old car.   A true incarnation of the simple life.   It was a privilege to meet him. 

Aged 62, originally from Germany, he has been touring Australia for seven years.  He started on a bike, and then moved to camels for lifestyle reasons.   He travels around 20km a day.  10km first thing in the morning, and then rests in the shade.  Sets off again at 3pm for another 10km.  His only expense is food, and decent walking shoes.  He advised that he is on the pension, but generally saves about half of it.  He said when he does spend more than half the pension, it’s on things that harm his health – eg smokes, junk food – so it’s best not to.  He definitely has a clear philosophy on the value of the simple life for both him and the environment, and has set out to achieve this.

Part of me felt I couldn’t cope with that lifestyle… but the other, larger part, felt envy.  Trying to unpick what it was he was doing that appealed to me, I came to the conclusion that he had done a pretty good job of creating a monastic life.  The self-discipline, the daily rhythm, the lack of belongings, but mainly all that uninterrupted *time* for contemplation.  (The joy of being alone!)  Plus a real connection with nature, through being outdoors and care of the camels.

I never occurred to me when I was younger, but now I can really see the appeal of becoming a nun.  I think it would be easier for me than being a parent.  I would have issues with the hierarchy….. but this would just be another avenue through which I would interrogate my control issues.

T feeds Snowy an apple

T feeds Snowy an apple

home

home

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Easter at our house

I just thought I’d share the tangled web we weave in trying to help our children know about the traditions of mainstream culture, while concurrently trying to hide from it all.

As you know we are not practising Christians, but one of the things that annoys me, so must annoy them even more, is how the symbols of the celebrations are retailed months prior to the relevant day.  Obviously it is in the shops’ best interests if we eat hot cross buns and chocolate eggs for weeks, not to say months, rather than on one day.  But I refuse to be a patsy to them.

In rebellion I made my own hot cross buns on the day.   While putting on the crosses, I re-told the meaning of the symbol to T, who looked suitably appalled.   I think I may be missing some nuances, because the way I tell it, it’s a story of persecution rather than sacrifice.   P looked horrified that I was spreading this propaganda.  This then segued neatly into the story of the resurrection, where P started to really look concerned.  I explained to T that there was good historical evidence for the crucifixion (which only became apparant to me when I visited Jerusalem many years ago) but not so much for the resurrection – which not everyone agreed had happened (look of relief from P.)   On partaking of my home made buns, T informed me that they weren’t as yummy as the one’s that Grandma had brought last week from the shops.  Great.

On Saturday, a friend advised that he thought that there might be good historical evidence for the resurrection – in the form of hundreds of eye witnesses.   For some reason I thought it was only Mary Magdelene and a few disciples, so maybe I need to do more research into the most common version of events.  But as it happens, my respect for Jesus’s life and teaching does not require him to rise from the dead.  And in fact, this is one of my overall beefs with Christianity – this whole focus on an afterlife is embedded in a negative view of human nature – that we could only be inspired to be “good” by external rewards and punishments – whereas in my worldview the rewards of doing the right thing are always intrinsic.   And in fact, need to be.  Sometimes there is no external reward for doing the right thing.  There might even be an external punishment.   (Jesus’s death here could be a good example…..   but then mangled by becoming alive again!)  Some people do die doing the right thing.  That is the unfortunate truth. 

On Sunday morning I had hard boiled eggs with smiley faces drawn on them.  Then later in the day I felt like a meanie and bought them three tiny choc eggs each for an egg hunt at home.  (Aside:  often I feel that my kids get so many “treats” provided by others, that I can’t give them any myself, as I am adding to a toxic overload.  However I’ve obviously frightened people away, so on this occasion I could choose to provide a small amount of chocolate myself.)  So I hid the eggs amongst much excitement.  Interestingly the first finds were gobbled, the second finds were given to me, and there was not much interest in finding the third.  When I ate one that had been given to me, it really wasn’t particularly yummy.

From all these discussions, T has had two questions.

1.  “Mum, what colour clothes did Jesus wear?”   Umm……. mainly brown?

2.  “Mum, did Jesus have a beard?”  Umm…… not sure.  Some discussion on whether they would have had razors.

So there you have it.  Jesus as object of sartorial interest.

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Renouncing Vegetarianism

P & I have decided that this label is no longer useful.  It’s just getting embarrassing tying ourselves up in knots trying to explain our food choices to others.  Essentially we are vegetarian at home, but in order to facilitate our participation in community, we are more flexible with what we eat when we are out.  So therefore, it is easier to just ditch the label…. which doesn’t strictly apply anyway.

In a recent conversation I was reminded of this Buddhist idea – to receive a gift of food in the spirit in which it was given.  In order to do this, I think that we do away with people’s discomfort if we don’t announce any label or preferences.  Like all -isms, sometimes the dogma just isn’t useful.

It’s actually a relief to get rid of this label.  Particularly when I’m anticipating meeting and eating with a lot of new people on our trip,  it’s nice to be a fresh slate.

After making this decision, we went to an “up-market” burger place for dinner.  Normally I would order the veggie burger, but it seemed appropriate to break out, and order a meat one.  It was gross of course.  Mince (no matter how “up market”) is mince, with that particular texture….  not found in any plant based food.   Regardless, I was able to enjoy the company and ambience of the restaurant, and know that next time I can choose the veggie burger.

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Mother’s Little Helper

I have cut down on my tea intake, and am now operating in a fug.  I didn’t realise that I had become such a tea addict.  It was incremental, adding “just another” cup into my routine, and somehow suppressing the knowledge that it was a caffeinated drink.

In my quest to overcome a weak pelvic floor, I sought medical assistance.  (In cases of low motivation to change, I find it helps to invest time and money in a professional to whom I then have to answer as to whether I actually made any changes.  Sad I know.)  I was diagnosed with both stress and urge incontinence.  I won’t bore you with the details, but the upshot was I had to get going on my kegels, and also measure all drinks and urine for 48 hours.  You see where this is heading.  I had to write down *all* the cups of tea I was drinking. 

The health professional involved was then able to comment on my high level of caffeine intake.  Her interest in this was that apparantly caffeine can irritate the bladder muscle.   My interest in this was that I am a lactating mother and someone with a (misplaced) pride in my healthy lifestyle.  She recommended that I *notice* whether I had an urge to pass urine about 20 – 30 minutes after a caffeinated drink.  I determined that I would immediately cut down to two cups of tea a day.

Well, I can report from the frontline that caffeine is a very powerful drug and it appears that my whole lifestyle was dependent on it.  Without  mother’s little helper, I drag myself around looking for any opportunity to nap.  The upside is, my waterworks problems are pretty much gone.  Who knew.  I’m still doing my kegels.  I can lift my pelvic floor 6mm, and I need to aim for 10mm to be safe, and 15mm if I want to go trampolining.  Given my current lethargy, this is unlikely.

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